Sex | ART : Everything Real In A World Of Make Believe

I like Art, and by Art I mean Music, Poetry, Sex, Paintings, the Human Body, Literature. All of this is art to me. 


Pablo Picasso had it right, could not have said it any better. Sex is Art. Art is sex.


Anything you do can be approached as either science or art- When we approach sex as an art form rather than a science. Sex that asks us to be open, to allow our beings to embrace the experience where it wants to go, rather than forcing it to head in the direction we think it’s “supposed” to go. 



Yet, we mostly find ourselves stuck treating  sex like a science. We develop strong expectations,  anticipating a replicable outcome every time. 

We ignore the reality, which is that sex itself is messy and inconsistent. It is a force of nature- A reflection of life. 

We find ourselves stuck when things don’t turn out the way we expect, we find ourselves trying harder. Rather than opening up and letting our sexuality tell us what it wants in that moment, we try harder to comply with the external recipe we’ve been given. Rather than listening for our own desire and following it whether it makes sense or not- leading to an unfortunate disappointment. 


While men’s orgasms are also an art form, we can all agree that they tend to have more consistent scientific quality to them than women’s orgasms do. 

Simple Math: 

Penis + Naked Woman [In most cases] = Ejaculation 


On the other hand we have the woman’s orgasm. Much more like The Artist’s way than the scientific method. When observed objectively, women’s orgasm looks very different from mens orgasm. 

 heart, brain, and life image

The artsy-ness of sex, its frustrating refusal to abide by the laws of mechanics, put us into the difficult position not wondering why things aren’t going the way they’re supposed to be going. 

We try to live up to the expectations set by what our eyes see in Hollywood, and the latest magazine of Cosmopolitan. We put ourselves into the shape of the sex we think we’re supposed to be having, what we think we should look like entirely modeled on the man’s experience of what they learned from a clip on Porn hub or an old edition of Play Boy Magazine from the 90’s. Jesus. 


We spend a lot of time in our heads, wondering if we’re doing it right, concentrating very hard on “getting somewhere- Where as that “Somewhere” being synonymous with our ‘Climax.’ Thinking about the ‘right’ sounds we should be making in order to have what we think is this objective of mind blowing sex. 


In moments of desperation, or sheer exhaustion, we’re sometimes tempted to fake it. 

Why not? Some of us feel like we’re faking the whole thing anyway, starting with our interest in having sex in the first place. 

art, rainbow, and eyes image

Paintings by Patrice Murciano

The result is that we distance ourselves from our desires, from our direct experience of sex, and in the end from our orgasm. Some women have gotten so far away from their own authentic orgasm that they don’t even think they have one. Which is a major concern, since for women especially, frequent access to the pleasure of orgasm is the key to finding joy, nourishment, and sustainable happiness. 

moon, universe, and vintage image  

Though I’d always been a sexual person, I still considered my sexuality to be extracurricular. It was something I use for stress reduction, pleasure, escape, or at the best of time to feel close to someone. 


Sexuality is not just a fringe activity- What it really is:

A source of power, a well from which I could draw the energy I needed to discover who I was and how I wanted to live my life.

galaxy, space, and stars image

And how I want to live my life is to enjoy it,- To feel full and energized so I can transcend my being, surrender my soul to live every moment of it to its absolute fullest potential. 

In this realm of mindset: Sex has transformed into the entry point to the deep, nourishing soul food that every part of me had crying out craving for and a catapult into the fuel that would get me there. Once I tasted this heirloom variety of sexuality, there was nothing else I crave to cultivate in my life. 

Sex can be so much more than we have come to believe. It can be a gateway to more connection. 

Climax is a fleeting moment. When I use the word “Orgasm,” meaning something much bigger than what we think — the body’s total ability to receive and respond to pleasure.

 baby, gif, and fifty shades darker image

kiss, love, and quote imageSLOW SEX?

It is the full consciousness applied to sex, to our senses, to our emotions and desires. 

It is dare to be and communicate ‘true’. 

This is changing our perception and discovering orgasm as a state and love as a sensation. 


It is a way of living a sexuality in depth, in connection with our true desires, in the present moment, and not only in genitality. 

It is a way out of co-dependence and towards autonomy and abundance. It is to replace the goals to be reached by curiosity for what is present because:


“Our goals are determined by our imagination, the known. If we free ourselves from our objectives then we open ourselves to the infinite possibilities. “

xx Shades0fKay

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