How Do We Become And Remain Desirable?



We are free to value or disvalue any attitude, any choice, any object. But as a result, we find ourselves confronted with this same freedom that others have to value or disvalue them.

I negotiate my value every day. Hence the anxiety of contemporary woman.

We are obsessed:

“Am I desirable? How desirable? How many people are going to love me?” And how does he respond to this anxiety?

Well, by hysterically collecting symbols of desirability.

I call this act of collecting, along with others, seduction capital. Indeed, our consumer society is largely based on seduction capital. It is said about this consumption that our age is materialistic. I would go against this.

 We only accumulate objects in order to communicate with other minds.

We do it to make them love us, to seduce them. Nothing could be less materialistic, or more sentimental. We purchase things around us, what we wear – for not just ourselves but to communicate with others how we value ourselves and what holds a weight of importance. 


Consumerism is not materialism. It is rather what is swallowed up and sacrificed in the name of the god of love, or rather in the name of seduction capital.

In light of this observation on contemporary love, how can we think of love in the years to come?  It largely depends on social and technical innovations, which are by definition difficult to predict.

But we can, for instance, imagine a dating website which, a bit like those loyalty points programs, uses seduction capital points that vary according to age, height/weight ratio,  degree, salary, or the number of clicks on ones profile. We can also imagine a chemical treatment for breakups that weakens the feelings of attachment. 

The thought of chemically altering our bodies fascinates me. Is this cheating? Do more harm than it would do good? Like erasing bad memories – but those very same memories  that were the very thing that taught you a lesson, or had a completely different perspective on the way you viewed life. Is this Good? Bad? – Can we cheat? Do we want to cheat ? Why cheat the game of life? Or better question the game of attraction.

Mystery – Respect – Desire.


I believe these are the three most important guide lines to abide by in the game of attraction.

We all have “Chemical families” associated with dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen. People choose partners with chemicals that complement their own. For example, a person with a high amount of estrogen may be attracted to a high-testosterone type.

Attraction you see- We cannot force it, we cannot mechanically produce it, it just happens……. Like this beautiful intimacy- That sense of self and not knowing where you end and she begins….’


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